1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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