I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
