If i come over, it means nothing
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
