I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
