Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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