how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
