Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
