dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
