elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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