He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
