wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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