ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
