toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You may now shotgun with the bride
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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