Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
