1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize