Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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