White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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