We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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