I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have post one night stand depression
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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