Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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