Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
