getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
