Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
