I must be too annoying 4 u.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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