i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think your dad took our porno
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize