i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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