covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
