i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
