I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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