I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
