please come you make the beer taste better
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
