Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
