i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
