I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
