I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
