My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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