FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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