im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
