I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
