if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't turn off my feet"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
