Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
