Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Boobs speak an international language.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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