I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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