I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
