Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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