They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
