Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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