why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
