that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so let's talk penis.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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