Your mouth is God's brothel.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
