It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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