I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
