he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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