I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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