I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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