pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
