At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
